Someday the Dream will end

(Free Hang-out passes to whoever who gets the Final Fantasy X reference)

The sun is setting now as I'm typing here. The entire sky is set in various shades of azure, gold and amber, and clouds shaped in curls absorbing the colours. A majestic sight, although not as breath-taking nor as impressive as those that you see on posters, I like it all the same.

I've just finished Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami. The usual Murakami plots, with ridiculous events like talking cats and seemingly random events crawling towards each other for a grand conclusion with a little saucy sexual episodes in between (Haha, I guess he can't break away from his Japanese blood). Somehow after reading this book, I'm left in a state of neutrality. It's somewhat alike being reborn (except I've never done that, there aren't any phoenix downs). I'm a fresh sheet of paper, my eyes have been set anew and the world seems like an entirely new place. This must be the power of good books (I can't imagine feeling like that after reading Twilight, it would probably give me mental diarrhea). It would probably not last past this night, and I would revert back into the old conceited cynical scumbag of a human being. I can feel the old self creeping back, settling himself on me already. It was great while it lasted. A total point of nothingness, I might say. Makes me want to become a monk in order to live like that.

Random point: some old dude came up to me while I was reading under some void deck near my house and started talking to me about getting energy from drinks, its benefits and where I can get them. I suspected that he was just a little crazy, but I guess that he was just a lonely old man who wanted to talk to someone. And I probably looked like I was about to collapse from sheer exhaustion (my eyes are just small, kay).

I think accepting things for what they are is an important thing in life. Shit happens all the time, and my insecurities never seem to stop to leave me alone, constantly finding an opening for a cheap shot. It started from the almost neurotic fear of death while I was younger, and now in my late teens the fear of living. I hope the fears go away as natural as how it did earlier. However now I accept the fears and not let it take control of my actions. Some call it ignorance, others call it courage. I choose to accept it as a whole, take it for all it is and move along.

I've lost track of time these days. Might be a sign of dementia, along with the failing memory. Not being constrained by time feels really different. It's probably true freedom, letting go of a concept that only bears meaning to its beholder. A very liberating feeling, and I could understand why people are willing to die for the sake of it.

Yes, someday the dream will end. Much like the dropping of the curtains after a fantastic play. Accepting the fact would be easier on yourself.