Justice is defined by the place you are in

The law is not absolute. Rather, it sways and bends accordingly at places in order to achieve its own motives. Indian national solicits a prostitute, kills her , steals her valuables, makes 20 over calls back to India and solicits another prostitute. 17 years of jail and 12 strokes of the cane. Malaysian national kills little girl, rumored to have engage in sexual acts with her, hanging, no appeal and automatic failure for presidential clemency.

Unbiased judgement my ass. What the fuck happened to an eye for an eye? Your conservative bullshit is stained all over the verdict. I bet the only reason why that national wasn't given a death penalty was because the deceased was a prostitute and that other foreign workers might not want to come and enslave themselves anymore. "Hey, he did us a favor! Let's not kill him so that other potential prostitute murderers know they can get away with it!"

Oh, yes. He was temporarily insane. That's why he accidentally strangled her until her tongue was out (Erotic asphyxiation possibility here!), put the body under the bed THEN got another one. I'm sure that's some good proof. Right?

Conservatism still rules in some parts of the world, to much of my disgust. China's annoying internet filter and authoritative actions on the internet have pissed many people off, but they can't do much shit to them since they have North Korea on their side. Think of it this way, no one wants to piss of two idiots armed with WMDs. Google finally had some balls to pull its ass out of China (more likely that they couldn't earn much, after the arbitrary taxes set by the government, such as beer tax, cigarette tax, air tax and other random made-up nonsense to rob those corporations).

This pisses me off as much as the pro-life activist murders. I hope that Indian national gets hell in prison and spontaneously explodes into a million bits on his last day. And his entire family dies for no reason too. Because he was a bastard.

Freedom or Security, I choose the latter.

I feel like I lost a piece of my soul. After hours of planning for Project Love Plus, I had to scrape it and choose something less fun to work with (but still quite enjoyable to do). Fuck it, they weren't going to care about my intricate character development or complex interactions. I'll come out with my own visual novel on the PC and sell it.

Mass Education is evil.

If you can't raise Sparky properly , then don't have it.

We see stupid dog owners everywhere. Those that allow their poorly-trained mutts to do whatever they want and just stand there without doing anything. The most common offence is allowing the dog to bark all it wants behind a door when people walk by. There is a difference between barking at strangers who enter the house and strangers who just casually pass by. It startles people and it's annoying as hell (especially those tiny dogs with their high-pitched yapping).Dogs, need to be trained. It is ALWAYS the owner's fault when the dog misbehaves - "Xavier". Some people have this warped idea that having a dog means feeding it and taking it for walks when they feel like it. The dogs just go on their free reign in the house most of the time. Not only does it show how much they care for the dog, it shows that the dog is just another thing to occupy their lives a little (so they feel a little more complete).

Now, replace Sparky and dog with Bob and kid. Yes, bad parents are every-fuckin' where. Kid yelling at the top of his voice? "Kids are usually loud". Brat annoying the hell out of someone? "But kids are like that what". Fuck you all. Instead of stopping their little accident, some parents even go to the extend of promoting little actions that seem harmless to them but is actually helping society create another stupid breathing organism that makes other decent people look like complete shit. If you don't know what is the right way, ask. Educate yourself before you jump into a commitment.

Why do people have kids in the first place? Logically, it's the next step after getting married (according to the standard life procedure handbook force-fed by your media). It's also the next step in your typical love-novel (Hint: Twilight has that too). How much more to love your partner, than to create a bundle of trouble for them? The government wants more kids too! Baby bonuses, tax-exceptions and loads of other freebies to encourage more babies popping out. Hey, it means more workers generating income for the nation in the future, and that means we can allocate less funds to old people and more for ourselves! (Sounds like a African Sweepstakes scam - you seem to earn a generous sum if you give them just a little back in return, but they just need more and more until you realize that you have just been scammed).

You see, I noticed this from the arcade I was working in. Most of the times, kids are accompanied by their parents. Nothing wrong with this, until the parents have no idea what they are doing except feed money. They don't follow instructions nor tutorial levels, and blame the game when they suck (Fighting and rhythm games) or just let the kid figure out everything on their own when they can read the instructions and help the kid with the game - usually resulting in suckage and wasted credits. The more important repercussion is the effect it has on the kid. The kid might grow up to suck absolute balls at a game throughout his entire life and not know why. 80% of the population for a game, let's say Tekken 6 - Dark Resurrection are simply button mashers who want to see flashy moves. 20% are the casuals and the hardcore ones. Someone needs to tell them that the game does not work that way, and if they want to see flashy stuff, go watch a film. Same can be applied to most games - King of Fighters series, Marvel VS series and so on. I'm speculating that the other archetype people in the arcade like the scrub and the spammer starts of with similar upbringing.

If the parents are free enough to watch a kid suck at games for hours, they might as well actually spend QUALITY time with their children. Take them out for a walk, teach them something useful or something else. If they want to bring their children for an arcade trip, at the very least, teach them how to play and not suck at it. It hurts to watch people suck at games when they have no idea what they are doing when the answer is blatantly shoved in their screens. There is a need for education on games, and less of games as an education method.

Outside of the arcade, there are disgusting public scenes of bad parenting all the time. Parents screaming at their kid for something as minor as losing ten cents on his way home (Would rival the Banshee in screaming power) and a little mistake on a test paper (Stereotypes aside, I've seen it happen). Somehow, some parents suck at parenting so bad that it warrants a forced removal of the child and sterilization. Oh, I almost forgot the typical Singaporean family - where both parents work and leave their kids to their maid. If the maid is someone who can handle children well, fine. When you have maids that don't give two shits about the kid, it's just having another pair of eyes to occasionally look at the kid. What sort of parents would leave their beloved children in the hands of an underpaid domestic worker who takes all sort of shit everyday?

Child protection services look out for children who are living with abusive parents, but who's
going to look out for those who are being corrupted by no0b parents? I'm not a pro-children guy by the way, I hate children all the same.

Marriage is for idiots

This would be my first post in 2010. Happy New Year Boon, time for a new you. You've got a job, got your goals and got your fighting spirit. Now kick 2010's ass.

Right, so back to my point on how marriage is for people of lower intellect. Even www.dictionary.com has conflicting entries.
the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies
a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife, without legal sanction
Looks like English majors don't really have a concrete idea of marriage yet. To be a legal procedure or not, that is the question.

I was rudely awakened 1/2 an hour earlier to my waking time by a bunch of insolent tarts , repeatedly blasting their car horns in a chaotic arrangement for some reason I cannot comprehend. So it turns out my neighbor is getting married. I wouldn't give two shits about someone dumb enough to get himself/herself tied down by some lame-ass piece of legal document that has not much meaning in the first place, but they JUST had to annoying the hell out of everyone else in the loudest manner they can, giving the impression that they are overjoyed, and they want everyone to celebrate with them. Fuck you morons, it's a fuckin' Sunday morning. Time for people to catch up on sleep and rest. No one really gives a damn at all, so keep your little ceremony down, ya?

Thinking about it, why the hell would anyone want to get married in the first place? The general idea about this concept is for two people to get together and have some kind of concrete form of evidence that they have agreed on getting married (usually in a form of a piece of paper and signatures in modern times) and they are married (there's a crazy party thrown in their honor too!) . It's usually customary for them to go around and have what they call the "honeymoon". It's basically a holiday period observed by newlyweds, having no fixed time and location, where they usually go to some place together as a married couple. Yay, now they can finally fuck each other without anyone giving them dirty looks, and the government pledges to support them if they can pop enough children out. Happy end?

Wait, why the fuck can't people just stay together, without the need for stupid requirements such as the paper? I mean, people say the get married because they love each other, and you need a piece of paper to prove it? From what I see, it's just a gigantic event for the sake of drama, so people don't think their life is dull and lame. Marriage, is not a ceremony of transcendence. The media has brainwashed people (especially the females and the romantics) that marriage is the highest form of love, and that their lives are completely changed by a single night of wearing fancy clothing, cutting a cake, getting drunk and fucking each other's faces off on a single day. You know why divorce rates are so high? Because marriage is a fucking retarded idea, two people have the right to have children or whatever that married couples do AND have the support of everyone else. Up yours, society.

The problems of adultery and unfaithfulness wouldn't be a problem, IF marriage wasn't blown into epic proportions like today. Hint: that special someone of your dreams doesn't exist, and when you think someone is, it's just auto-suggestion.

I bet your marriage wouldn't last five years. A big "fuck you" from me as your wedding gift.

An acid trip down to hell

Holy fucking shit. The only reason why I'm awake at 6.50am after only a hour before is because I just got mindfucked. I got a lucid dream (good point) but it somehow turning into a nightmare roller coaster (Bad point). Thing is, I don't remember having nightmares at all, this is probably the second or third I can consciously remember. I remember one that involves dropping from a great height and I could actually feel the plunge, the rush and everything. Internet search said that if I actually end, I'm dead. So here's the story. I'll try and remember everything to the exact detail.


So I was on my bed, attempting to sleep after a late-night LAN session. I was messing around with Tekken 6 on my psp, until I heard my sister wake up and get ready for work. I couldn't get caught playing at that hour, so I turned it off and got ready to sleep. While waiting for brain to shut down, I decided to daydream about random nonsensical stuff, except this time I really put it effort into it - I imagined what I would feel, what would be the responses and so forth (Pretty gay shit, but report accuracy matters). The last thing I could consciously remember was the jingling of the keys and the sound of my apartment door opening. Then, it struck.

(At this point, I'm starting to lose out details here and there now. Pardon the lack of the usual witty remarks).
I remember something, some setting with me in my grandmother's house. Blank here. Then somehow the setting slowly and inconspicuously changed to something random and totally off course, and I ended up in someone else house. I haven't noticed this by then, and proceeded normally. The house was empty, I went around exploring the house with no one in it. I still can vaguely remember the layout and the items within the house, and how it looked like. I suddenly end up in the toilet. I'm bathing, but there's no water. Then this girl walks in naked and screams "Oh my God!". I can't remember her face and somehow i can remember her body. I start to cover up and try to close the door, but the door doesn't work normally (I can't explain it). Suddenly I realise I'm in some room, and there's a bed, where yet another naked chick sleeps. Then I end up in the living room of the mystery house, then realise there are people in the house. Think of it like a gigantic house filled with a pair of adults and a bunch of kids, youngest being like, 8 and the oldest are probably teenagers, like some kind of big adoptive family. Then, the father (I'll call him pops) started talking to me and saying Zen-like shit. Here's the conversation to my best memory :
Pops: Why aren't you wearing any clothes?
Me: I don't have any
Pops: You have five minutes to find a set
Me: Sir, you have three minutes to tell me what's going on, and three minutes to tell me where did I come from.
-Fuzzed part, I can't remember much from here-
I somehow walk into a computer room, and see Diablo 2 running. I explain, "Hey, Diablo 2!". Everyone around the house turns to me and smiles (Now I realise, at this point I forgot about clothes and walls). Then I talk to the youngest kid around, saying stuff you would say to a kid then it happened again. I ended up in a fit and I end up within the GM(Grandma's) attacking a television set and with everyone staring at me wide mouthed. I give them the "WTF" look and start to feel a little fuzzy. I sit down on some soft beanbag-like couch and thinking what when on, then remember saying I think there's something wrong with me.

Next thing I remember was people mentioning things like "It should be fine now" and "I think it's ok now", in the general sense of things said after something major medically, like surgery. I remember this scenario happened twice, but I lost the details. I wake up (in my dream) to find myself looking at my legs, being dragged by my mother and brother. Thing is, my brother was dwarf-sized and their height difference was about 1m, but both hands of mine were balanced properly. I was being dragged along the path to GM, and halfway I threw yet another fit and yelled something, and started walking on my own. Before I reached the lift lobby, I got warped again.

I ended up within some HDB area, except it was rather dark and it looked somewhat familiar. I started walking, as if I knew the direction. I ended up in a totally different place, and I somehow ended in a place behind my starting point - and I only have been walking straight. I felt like Hansel and Gratel, feeling like I was trapped in my own psychotic world and I couldn't do anything about it.

I end up in the adoptive house again, have a nice chat with the father there and then...I can't remember anything else from there.

I warp back into some park, then I walked and walked, and ended up in some area in Kovan (The open area beside the OCBC bank near the bowling alley in fact). I reconised some dude and called out his name wrongly. He corrected me, saying something between "Shah" and "Shafiq". I asked him if there was something wrong with me, and he gave me a very snide and smug face, saying nothing is wrong. I could tell that he was lying from his expressions, and he said I have been taking too much drugs. Then he offered me some pills, and I agreed. He shoved it in my mouth, and I warped off again.

By this time, I forgotten the end, I only remember suddenly realizing I have been dreaming, and open my eyes. I was still in my room, and I wasn't insane. Thing is, the entire dream felt to real but yet so senseless at the same time. I didn't know I was dreaming at all, until the end.

(Random bit)
Somewhere between, I remember in some compound like TP, with lifts operating but they are pretty old - like those kinds in older America, with the manual-operated metal gate, except it has been cut into half and the top is exposed. I remember getting in several times, but the only things that were odd was one that I dropped something into an upside down lift and find I tried to pick it up, but I would risk falling over and die. The other was that I almost fell over and died when I climbed my way through a closed gate leading to the lift and got stuck there. I remember someone silently looking there, not saying anything.

Here's a few reasons I came out with that might have triggered this:
-Talking about mind-blowing stuff, like quartz theory with a bunch of friends for hours might have triggered my brain into overdrive.
-Reading excessive amounts of apocalypse scenarios from exit-mundi
-The intensive daydreaming process might have kept my mind awake while my body slept, and then it went berserk like EVA-01.
-I have damaged my brain
-I am fucking insane.

I'm still in a slight daze, a shadow of what I felt like what I first woke up. I'm going back to sleep and if I end up in that hellhole, I hope I don't kill myself in my dream, because I might die.

P.S. At least I didn't see any nude guys in the dream, and the first nude chick was hot 8D

Still waters run deep

The subconscious is a rather scary thing. A vengeful elephant that never forgets, secretly storing every single moment into his impeccable but subjective memory. Drop your guard and it will set itself lose, trampling on your mind and hijack your actions.

How deep exactly does it run? I doubt there is a definite answer. What I know, is that there are several issues that have seemingly superficial causes when the actual root runs deep, either buried for protection or forgotten by the swing of the pendulum. Running away solves everything...temporarily. I need the courage and the strength to stand up against the fear and the indifference caused by an illusion in a nightmare.

Master your emotions, or they would master you and turn you into a broken man, a wretched creature incapable of independent action or thought.

Someday the Dream will end

(Free Hang-out passes to whoever who gets the Final Fantasy X reference)

The sun is setting now as I'm typing here. The entire sky is set in various shades of azure, gold and amber, and clouds shaped in curls absorbing the colours. A majestic sight, although not as breath-taking nor as impressive as those that you see on posters, I like it all the same.

I've just finished Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami. The usual Murakami plots, with ridiculous events like talking cats and seemingly random events crawling towards each other for a grand conclusion with a little saucy sexual episodes in between (Haha, I guess he can't break away from his Japanese blood). Somehow after reading this book, I'm left in a state of neutrality. It's somewhat alike being reborn (except I've never done that, there aren't any phoenix downs). I'm a fresh sheet of paper, my eyes have been set anew and the world seems like an entirely new place. This must be the power of good books (I can't imagine feeling like that after reading Twilight, it would probably give me mental diarrhea). It would probably not last past this night, and I would revert back into the old conceited cynical scumbag of a human being. I can feel the old self creeping back, settling himself on me already. It was great while it lasted. A total point of nothingness, I might say. Makes me want to become a monk in order to live like that.

Random point: some old dude came up to me while I was reading under some void deck near my house and started talking to me about getting energy from drinks, its benefits and where I can get them. I suspected that he was just a little crazy, but I guess that he was just a lonely old man who wanted to talk to someone. And I probably looked like I was about to collapse from sheer exhaustion (my eyes are just small, kay).

I think accepting things for what they are is an important thing in life. Shit happens all the time, and my insecurities never seem to stop to leave me alone, constantly finding an opening for a cheap shot. It started from the almost neurotic fear of death while I was younger, and now in my late teens the fear of living. I hope the fears go away as natural as how it did earlier. However now I accept the fears and not let it take control of my actions. Some call it ignorance, others call it courage. I choose to accept it as a whole, take it for all it is and move along.

I've lost track of time these days. Might be a sign of dementia, along with the failing memory. Not being constrained by time feels really different. It's probably true freedom, letting go of a concept that only bears meaning to its beholder. A very liberating feeling, and I could understand why people are willing to die for the sake of it.

Yes, someday the dream will end. Much like the dropping of the curtains after a fantastic play. Accepting the fact would be easier on yourself.